Caring for the caregiver
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Caring for your loved one with severe mental illness may take priority, but keeping yourself physically and mentally fit is important too
What is caregiver stress? How to recognize it? How to care for the caregiver? Article courtesy: White Swan Foundation |
What if you are caring not for a 'loved one' but in a care-giving role nevertheless?
In many situations, one often takes on a care-giving role out of a sense of duty and obligation. For many families that have gone through the stresses of an arranged marriage and conflicts with in-laws, this could be the case.
In such situations, where the stress of care-giving is not quite offset by feelings of love and affection, prospects of burnout are higher, as also possibilities of finding oneself emotionally over-whelmed, with mixed feelings of anger at having to care, shame at feeling angry, and stressed at not being able to reconcile the feelings, and getting worse. In extreme situations, such feelings can lead to abusive caring, which doesn't help anybody.
So, how does one handle such stress?
Consider if you can reconcile to how the relationships are, including possibly talking over it genuinely with your partner and others. Reconcile to yourself what you are doing out of love, and what out of duty. Take pride in your dutifulness, and yet also hold your own needs in high regard and that might just help.
In such situations, where the stress of care-giving is not quite offset by feelings of love and affection, prospects of burnout are higher, as also possibilities of finding oneself emotionally over-whelmed, with mixed feelings of anger at having to care, shame at feeling angry, and stressed at not being able to reconcile the feelings, and getting worse. In extreme situations, such feelings can lead to abusive caring, which doesn't help anybody.
So, how does one handle such stress?
Consider if you can reconcile to how the relationships are, including possibly talking over it genuinely with your partner and others. Reconcile to yourself what you are doing out of love, and what out of duty. Take pride in your dutifulness, and yet also hold your own needs in high regard and that might just help.
When do you seek help?Taking care of the aged, dying, chronically ill (physically or mentally) takes a lot of energy, and often, it is an ever-increasing demand on the care-giver, impacting their own well-being: sometimes, with feelings of anger at the one they care for, or others in the family, feelings of exhaustion, lowered sense of capability & confidence, social issues and other signs.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed emotionally, or find yourself 'not being yourself,' or just want to talk, seek counselling. |
More InformationThere are many online support forums and material available, many oriented towards particular types of caring situations. Some of them are linked below:
1. Caring for People with Cancer: Especially recommended are the articles on young adults caring for older people 2. Providing care for and within the family: Especially recommended is the section on long-distance care 3. A 'reluctant' caregiver's sharing: A good reading on providing end-of-life care for someone reluctantly 4. Caring for the mentally ill: Good tips for living with and caring for someone with schizophrenia (and other illnesses) 5. Caring for the mentally challenged: Focuses on long-term care into adulthood 6. Chadda RK. Caring for the family caregivers of persons with mental illness. Indian J Psychiatry [serial online] 2014 [cited 2015 Sep 3];56:221-7. Available from: http://www.indianjpsychiatry.org/text.asp?2014/56/3/221/140616 |