Parenting in the Social Media Era

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In an earlier time, perhaps parents would have turned to aunts, uncles and other elders for parenting help and advice, but with nuclear families, urbanization, distances, isolation and other factors, parents have the daunting task of handling emergencies, battling sleeplessness, having careers and navigating just about every other challenge that comes their way, most often alone.

With social media becoming a large part of our lives (statistics show that more than 300 million people in India use smartphones; Facebook recorded 2.01 billion active users in June 2017), parents are increasingly turning towards their devices for advice, support and community engagement, with communities specifically geared to support biological mothers, adoptive parents, surrogate parents and other families. ​

Social Media's role in a Parent's life today

Social media is performing multiple roles for the connected parent today:
  • As a virtual village: Social media connects like-minded parents across geographies who are battling similar issues
  • As online extensions: Parents' groups of  schools, play areas etc operate as a forever 'ON' platform for networking and influencing  With an increasing number of schools and institutions providing applications, Facebook pages and web access for reporting and monitoring, social media use has become indispensable
  • As documentation: Never before has it been so easy to photo/video moments instantly as they happen and showcase them to family, friends and the world-at-large.
  • As a resource center: As an online resource center for parenting and child related information: through articles, videos, live chats with experts and information from experienced parents.
  • As a live newsfeed of current information on local child/parent related events (workshops, talks, clubs, etc.) that take place ‘offline’.​

When is it a problem?

  • Too much/ Unreliable information: With so much information on every parenting topic and no checks or balances, there are dangers of misinformation or trying a ‘one size fits all’ solution, especially where professional advice is needed. 
  • No time for the real world: All that time on your device can take away from your ‘real time’ with the tiny people seated across you who, more than anything, want your pure undivided attention.
  • The quest for perfection: Articles on social media abound on how to raise the perfect child, but the constant quest for perfection can leave you feeling exhausted that you’re never doing enough.   
  • Your children are on ‘show’: Whether it’s their first haircut, or their first independent use of the washroom, kids lives’ seem to be constantly center stage. No longer is it about the joy of the moment, but about how it looks to the world. 
  • Privacy: The downside of social media is that it is very hard to monitor and police. Take a step back to consider who all might be viewing the information you put up and how this may jeopardize your children’s safety.
““Social Media isn't creating the problems in our relationships; it's only exposing the ones that already existed.” 
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― Steve Maraboli

What can you do to maintain a balance?

Parenting is a difficult task and social media does have great benefits, and yet, the use can become dependence. Working with social media requires us to exercise restraint and find a balance. The following tips can help :  
  • Set aside a time each day when you will access social media, and then stick to that. Spend face-to-face time each day with your family.
  • Put your devices away when your children are around.
  • Consider who all might be viewing your child’s information before posting on any platform.
  • Before sharing on social media, ask yourself: ‘why am I doing this?’ Let the answer guide you.
  • Detox: Enjoy a ‘tech free’ once a week.
  • Create ‘no tech’ zones or ‘no tech times’ at home – the bedroom and bedtime are good places to start.
If you feel that your use of social media is getting out of hand and you’re unable to handle it on your own, seek professional help.

When should you seek help

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If you are finding it hard to maintain a balance between your social media use and your parenting,  please do reach out.

More Information

1. Top 10 Social Networks for Parents 
2.  Impact of social media addiction on families
3.  Is technology creating a family divide?
4.  Negotiating new technology as a family