InnerSight
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us

Cognitions: The InnerSight Blog

Shake it up

6/8/2020

Comments

 
Once, a sad householder went to a monk seeking solace and possibly some guidance. “There are so many issues I struggle with,” The householder said, “Such big issues that I constantly have to fight about at home, it gets really difficult. Sometimes, I feel like just leaving everything, running away and becoming a monk like you!” The monk was quite amused that someone might think that monkhood was just about running away from troubles and that they seemed to think that the monk’s life was one of eternal peace. On any other day, the monk might have unpacked that with this person, showing them a truth or two about monkhood, but this day, there was a particular issue that this person had come up with, and the monk really wanted to address that.
The monk looked around the sparse hut to see what could be illustrative, and spying a large brass pot, motioned to the householder to bring that pot over, and the householder happily acquiesced. Holding the brass pot, the monk said, “Imagine this is your relationship with your partner back home. Now, go look around in the compound and see if you can pick up things that are symbolic of what you are going through in your relationship, and put it in the pot!” The householder went around, and picked up some stones and pebbles of different sizes and shapes, some sharip, others rounded, most were hard though a couple were balls of clay. The monk put them all in the pot and shook the pot - they jingled and jangled in a very unpleasant way, till the householder could not take it, and said, “Stop!” The monk stopped, and it took a minute or so for it to all settle down. 
They looked into the pot and, some of the pebbles and things had broken and even powdered, but most were as they were. “See!” The monk said, “All that rumbling around, and very little really changed, except the pot is dented and dinged from the inside.” The householder nodded. “Now, fill it with water, and try to do the same!” The monk encouraged, and when he tried, the pot was quite heavy, and he couldn’t move it much. The stones and things had settled at the bottom as well, and didn’t move much - a couple of the clay balls had softened and become a sediment. 
“Do you see how a pot full of love holds the same bitterness and fights?” The monk asked, and the householder, feeling suitably chastised, left for home, but not before the monk got the mess cleaned up.
The story just goes to show that very often, the loud, jarring and unpleasant fights that people in relationships experience are like so many pebbles making a racket in an empty pot. Fill that pot with love and kindness, some of them just melt away, and others settle down - like the differences that will exist between any of us. 
We can’t wish disagreements away, but we could keep the pot full.
As written for The New Indian Express
Comments

    RSS Feed

    InnerSight Bloggers

    Ajanta, Mahesh and other InnerSight counsellors and guest contributors are happy to share their thoughts here.
    Some of these articles have been published elsewhere and are reproduced here with permission.
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accomodation
    Addiction
    Affair
    Affection
    Alpha Male
    Anger
    Anger Management
    Appraisal
    Arm Candy
    Assertiveness
    #b4stage4
    Bangalore
    Belonging
    BetaRevolution
    Beta Revolution
    Body Positive
    Bollywood
    Boundaries
    Child Counselling
    Children
    Chivalry
    Choice
    Cleanup
    Clutter
    Comfort
    Communication
    Community
    Companionship
    Conflict
    Conflict Management
    Connect
    Consent
    Cool
    Corporate Counselling
    COunselling
    Counselling In Popular Culture
    Couple Counselling
    Couple Goals
    Couples
    Covid
    Crisis
    Cross-cultural Issues
    Death
    Deepavali
    Depression
    #DepressonLet'sTalk
    Desire
    Destination
    Discipline
    Diversity
    Diwali
    Dying
    EAP
    Eating Out
    Fact
    Fairytales
    Families Of Origin
    Family
    Family Counselling
    Fight
    Flying
    Food
    Fortune
    Freedom
    Friendship
    Games
    Games Couples Play
    Gardening
    Gender
    Gender Roles
    Genie
    Gifting
    Gossip
    Grief
    Happy New Year
    Hate
    Health
    Heartbreak
    Heat
    Holidays
    Home
    Homework
    Horoscopes
    Illness
    Incel
    Independence
    India
    InPlainSpeak
    Insecurity
    Intimacy
    Ipad
    Journal
    Journey
    Joy
    Kathua
    Kiss
    Lockdown
    Loneliness
    Love
    Love O Logy
    Love-o-logy
    Machismo
    Marie Kondo
    Marr
    Marriage
    Marriages
    Masculinity
    Meaning
    Media
    Mental Health
    #MeToo
    Mindfulness
    Mobile
    Mother's Day
    Motivation
    Netflix
    No
    Obsession
    Oxygen Masks
    Parenting
    Personal Well Being
    Personal Well-being
    PIP
    Playtime
    Politics
    Prediction
    Privacy
    Rape
    Reactions
    Recharge
    Relationship
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Romance
    Sadness
    Saying No
    School
    Security
    Self Care
    Self-compassion
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self-harm
    Self Image
    Self-image
    Self-sabotage
    Self-talk
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Sexuality
    Sickness
    Smart Phones
    Social Media
    Social Norms
    Space
    Streaming
    Stress
    Summer
    Support
    Swiggy
    TARSHI
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Therapy
    Traffic
    Tragedy
    Transparency
    Trauma
    Travel
    Trigger
    Trust
    Truth
    Valentines Day
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Weather
    Weightwatchers
    Whatsapp
    Wish
    Women's Day
    Work
    Work-Life Balance
    WorldMentalHealthDay2017
    Yes
    Zomato

    Archives

    September 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    RSS Feed

Copyright: 2012, InnerSight Counselling & Training Centre LLP.             Phone: +919611405684/ +919980781314  email: counsellors@innersight.in
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us