InnerSight
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • The InnerSight Blog
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us
    • InnerSight Counsellors

Cognitions: The InnerSight Blog

Love and Bangalore Traffic

31/1/2019

Comments

 
Picture
What would you say if I told you being stuck in Bangalore traffic can teach you a thing or two about love and relationships? You might find that ridiculous, but let me take just one aspect today and you might see what I mean.
 
Imagine you are driving quietly along the few two-way tree-lined avenues left in the city. It is a breezy, balmy 26 degrees, and you are in a place of general wellness and happiness. You drive along at an easy pace, enjoyable pace, happy that you are in Bangalore and not sweating it out in one of our huge coastal cities or in the smog up in the North, and all is well in the world. Suddenly, you start hearing a series of beeps, and that rises to insistent honks and a vehicle behind you is wanting to go ahead. There is enough space for them to overtake you and go on without making all that noise, but they do that anyway. You wave them ahead, and they honk as if it is going out of style soon, blaring as they pass you by.
 
What do you do? Do you just leave them be, or do you want to show them they can’t do that? Do you try and overtake them now, and blare your horn at them to show them what it feels to be at the receiving end of that behaviour? Or better still, do you overtake them and do it smoothly and quietly, setting an example on how they could have done what they needed without really impacting anyone else?
 
Think about it like this: You are sitting in your balcony, enjoying the view with your cup of tea and the newspaper, feeling all cozy and comfortable, and you start hearing a few beeps and honks from your loved one. You let it be and suddenly there is a lot of blaring. Perhaps they come and sit in the other chair and maybe even grab the newspaper out of your hand. What do you do? Do you quietly take out your phone and read something else? Or do you get angry and shout at them for being such bullies? Or do you, in quite the saintly fashion, ask them perhaps they would like your tea as well, or maybe a fresh cup?
 
Sounds familiar?
 
The choices you have in both the situations are really not that different. There is so much traffic in our lives, both in the physical sense and in a more metaphorical sense, in our relationships. Sometimes, we get the unexpected honker, the surprise anger outburst for no known fault of ours. We don’t know what was happening to them – maybe they had an emergency, something urgent they needed, or just pent up emotions. Were they just being a horrible person at that time? Maybe – but if we assume that horribleness always, we may just end up being horrible ourselves.
 
Like with traffic, perhaps it helps in relationships as well to go with the most benign attribution.

As written for and published in the New Indian Express.

Comments

    RSS Feed

    InnerSight Bloggers

    Ajanta, Mahesh and other InnerSight counsellors and guest contributors are happy to share their thoughts here.
    Some of these articles have been published elsewhere and are reproduced here with permission.
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Affair
    Alpha Male
    Anger
    Appraisal
    Arm Candy
    Assertiveness
    #b4stage4
    Bangalore
    Belonging
    BetaRevolution
    Beta Revolution
    Body Positive
    Bollywood
    Boundaries
    Child Counselling
    Children
    Chivalry
    Choice
    Communication
    Community
    Conflict
    Conflict Management
    Consent
    Corporate Counselling
    Counselling In Popular Culture
    Couple Counselling
    Couple Goals
    Couples
    Cross-cultural Issues
    Death
    Depression
    #DepressonLet'sTalk
    Desire
    Diversity
    Dying
    EAP
    Family
    Family Counselling
    Flying
    Friendship
    Games
    Games Couples Play
    Gender
    Gender Roles
    Gifting
    Gossip
    Grief
    Happy New Year
    Hate
    Heartbreak
    Holidays
    Incel
    India
    InPlainSpeak
    Insecurity
    Intimacy
    Journal
    Kathua
    Kiss
    Loneliness
    Love
    Love O Logy
    Love-o-logy
    Machismo
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Meaning
    Mental Health
    #MeToo
    Mindfulness
    Mother's Day
    Motivation
    Obsession
    Oxygen Masks
    Parenting
    Personal Well Being
    Personal Well-being
    PIP
    Playtime
    Rape
    Relationship
    Relationships
    Sadness
    Saying No
    School
    Self Care
    Self-compassion
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self-harm
    Self Image
    Self-image
    Self-sabotage
    Self-talk
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Sexuality
    Sickness
    Social Norms
    Stress
    TARSHI
    Teenagers
    Traffic
    Trauma
    Trigger
    Trust
    Valentines Day
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Women's Day
    Work
    Work-Life Balance
    WorldMentalHealthDay2017

    Archives

    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    RSS Feed

Copyright: 2012, InnerSight Counselling & Training Centre LLP.             Phone: +919611405684/ +919980781314  email: counsellors@innersight.in
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • The InnerSight Blog
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us
    • InnerSight Counsellors