Building Psychological Resilience

Life asserts itself, even in the toughest of times and even when things are absolutely catastrophic, still, life finds a way. We see that everyday in the little plants that creep through the cracks in the concrete, and in the big things, like life becoming OK after nuclear bombs fell at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, after earthquakes, plagues, and in our own lives - after severe losses, pain and misery.
Resilience is the key to survival. In the general spirit of things, life is resilient. In specific, we too can be resilient emotionally and come back to a meaningful and engaged life. Even as we see some succumb to the emotional pressures of their lives, we also see the resilience in so many stories of recovery, triumph against odds and revival. This emotional resilience to feel through the tough times and yet come back to the positive joy of living is an amazing skill, and one we can learn and develop.
Resilience is the key to survival. In the general spirit of things, life is resilient. In specific, we too can be resilient emotionally and come back to a meaningful and engaged life. Even as we see some succumb to the emotional pressures of their lives, we also see the resilience in so many stories of recovery, triumph against odds and revival. This emotional resilience to feel through the tough times and yet come back to the positive joy of living is an amazing skill, and one we can learn and develop.
Can resilience be learned?Many studies show that each of us have our own levels of tolerance for difficulties. Even in the worst of natural disasters, some people are able to bounce back - some much earlier than others. How is that some people are able to bounce back? And can the majority of us, learn from them on how to be resilient?
The good news is that this psychological/ emotional resilience can be learned. For many professions (such as disaster response teams, emergency medicine, social workers etc.) learning emotional resilience is a key job requirement. The key to emotional resilience is working on developing such a stance even before it is ever needed. It is truly a preventive and positive mechanism, much like a vaccine. What can you do to build your resilience?1. Do well. Focus on areas where you can show your mastery and control. Feelings of achievement from one area will generalize and help you feel good about your general capability.
2. Relate more. Work on your personal relationships. Spend time with people you care about and care for you. Help as you can and ask for help when you need it. 3. Practice Mental Hygiene. How you think and what you believe are in your control, no matter what the circumstances. Look for negative thought patterns and irrational beliefs that hurt you. Vigorously dispute them and establish more positive cognitive patterns. 4. Mindfulness. Practice being in the here and now as much as you can - in your body and your personal relationships. Be as mindful as you can of your own and the other's intent, beliefs, thoughts and feelings. Slow down and connect to yourself as deeply as you can. 5. Gratitude and Compassion. Practice gratitude and compassion. Connect with all that you are grateful for and seek to connect with compassion to both yourself and others. Your psychological resilience is a matter of practice, and you can strengthen it as you go. |
5 Steps to Psychological ResilienceSelf-care:
Resilience starts with our selves: Attending to our own needs, doing what brings us joy, relaxation, exercise. Becoming more emotionally literate - be able to connect to what you are feeling, to be able to name them and care for them, helps. Being willing to experience all our emotions - even the tougher, more difficult ones is important. Our readiness, both physically and emotionally, for any stress that could come is key to our resilience. Staying connected: No person needs to be an island. Developing strong, caring and helpful relationships (family, friends, colleagues, support groups or others) is important. Being able to offer and accept help and support each other strengthens resilience. See the context as is: Our circumstances are what they are. Change is the only constant. Our context is ever-changing, and ability to adapt to changes is a key factor of resilience. This means: 1. Keeping contact with the environment, and being willing to engage with the larger social space 2. Being able to see that while we have our influence, the environment may not be fully in our control 3. With the best of efforts (and luck) stressful events would still occur. Knowing that we can't control our context, but can control how we understand what's going on and how we respond helps. 4. Even when a change may be adverse, when we can see beyond it and connect to hope, we feel more tolerance 5. Hold a perspective that however bad things might be, they too pass in the long-term Exercise control: Having a sense of one's own agency and abilities, even if small, helps be resilient. Keeping a larger goal of what one would like, and being able to find some small act in whatever circumstances we are in that can help in that direction, connects us with our power. Being able to act in whatever way we choose, especially in adverse times, and our belief in our abilities and power to make a difference to ourselves, even if in the smallest way, helps us to develop confidence in ourselves, be more active and hopeful, rather than just wishful, and helps us believe that we will make bigger changes as and when things improve. Have a sense of inquiry: Above and beyond ourselves, our people, context and the degree of control we enjoy, having a sense of meaning and purpose helps be resilient. We often learn about ourselves and the idea of life and the purpose of it, when we struggle with hardships. It often connects us to a sense of purpose and a deeper appreciation for life and its meaning. Having such a sense of inquiry into life is a source of strength even while feeling vulnerable. |
When do you seek help? |
If you feel you need to develop greater resilience, or you find that circumstances are overwhelming and your natural resilience is threatened, feel free to call for help.
More Information |
1. HBR on Psychological Resilience
2. PsychCentral on 5 steps to Emotional Resilience 3. APA on The Road to Emotional Resilience |