InnerSight
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • QACP & Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us

Cognitions: The InnerSight Blog

Back to business

6/8/2020

Comments

 
With a lot of trepidation and a smattering of hope, much of India is getting back to business as usual from June 1st. We have had seventy five days and more of being locked down.
This lockdown period and all the physical distancing has been reminiscent of time outs given to kids who are exhibiting really angry behaviour, to the point of kicking and screaming. Weary adults give Time Outs to kids at such times, getting each kid into a corner, facing the wall with little to no sensory cues. The Time Outs are supposed to be periods of self-reflection and quiet times, the kid is supposed to think about their own behaviour and hopefully feel some remorse at their bad actions, want to be more positive and try something new. The Time Out and the sensory deprivation during the time is expected to get the kid to feel grateful for what they have and understand how easily it can be taken away from them, and so to behave better. The adults can and will take away their privileges at short notice and the threat is often enough to get them in line.
Once in a while though, the time outs do not have much of an effect, especially if the kids are all ganged up into their respective factions. That just makes them nurse their grievances, lick their wounds and they get even more unruly, fight even worse, sometimes disregarding the time outs altogether. It is hell then for the adults to get some control back, and often they need to resort to active detention and punishment.
For adults in loving relationships.too, this idea of a Time Out during conflicts is an important de-escalation strategy.  When a conflict is building up within a relationship, and it is coming to a boiling point, being able to take time off from each other and everything else, and giving oneself time to reflect quietly and take stock often helps the couple let go of their anger, connect to each other’s points of view and what each needs, and work through their problems more effectively. If during these time outs, instead of spending time in self-reflection and self-soothing, if we are in our own little camps, our anger gets coddled and addled into something even more monstrous, and we come out raging and baying for blood. It is then no-holds barred fighting and all bets are off.
Currently, it seems like we were all sent out on Time Outs of sorts when the initial exhortations to wash our hands, self-report and self-quarantine did not work. With so many of us scrupulously following the guidelines, the Time Outs have helped but we have also been watching the curve rise inexorably, and now we have our hearts in our mouths as things get unlocked. Are we going to have massive outbreaks? Have we learned our lessons and will we voluntarily keep distances and spare ourselves the trouble? Or will we lose it? Will we need the authorities to come down on us harder than ever?
As written for The New Indian Express
Comments

    RSS Feed

    InnerSight Bloggers

    Ajanta, Mahesh and other InnerSight counsellors and guest contributors are happy to share their thoughts here.
    Some of these articles have been published elsewhere and are reproduced here with permission.
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accomodation
    Addiction
    Affair
    Affection
    Alpha Male
    Anger
    Anger Management
    Appraisal
    Arm Candy
    Assertiveness
    #b4stage4
    Bangalore
    Belonging
    Beta Revolution
    BetaRevolution
    Body Positive
    Bollywood
    Boundaries
    Child Counselling
    Children
    Chivalry
    Choice
    Cleanup
    Clutter
    Comfort
    Communication
    Community
    Companionship
    Conflict
    Conflict Management
    Connect
    Consent
    Cool
    Corporate Counselling
    COunselling
    Counselling In Popular Culture
    Couple Counselling
    Couple Goals
    Couples
    Covid
    Crisis
    Cross-cultural Issues
    Death
    Deepavali
    Depression
    #DepressonLet'sTalk
    Desire
    Destination
    Discipline
    Diversity
    Diwali
    Dying
    EAP
    Eating Out
    Fact
    Fairytales
    Families Of Origin
    Family
    Family Counselling
    Fight
    Flying
    Food
    Fortune
    Freedom
    Friendship
    Games
    Games Couples Play
    Gardening
    Gender
    Gender Roles
    Genie
    Gifting
    Gossip
    Grief
    Happy New Year
    Hate
    Health
    Heartbreak
    Heat
    Holidays
    Home
    Homework
    Horoscopes
    Illness
    Incel
    Independence
    India
    InPlainSpeak
    Insecurity
    Intimacy
    Ipad
    Journal
    Journey
    Joy
    Kathua
    Kiss
    Lockdown
    Loneliness
    Love
    Love O Logy
    Love-o-logy
    Machismo
    Marie Kondo
    Marr
    Marriage
    Marriages
    Masculinity
    Meaning
    Media
    Mental Health
    #MeToo
    Mindfulness
    Mobile
    Mother's Day
    Motivation
    Netflix
    No
    Obsession
    Oxygen Masks
    Parenting
    Personal Well Being
    Personal Well-being
    PIP
    Playtime
    Politics
    Prediction
    Privacy
    Rape
    Reactions
    Recharge
    Relationship
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Romance
    Sadness
    Saying No
    School
    Security
    Self Care
    Self-compassion
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self-harm
    Self Image
    Self-image
    Self-sabotage
    Self-talk
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Sexuality
    Sickness
    Smart Phones
    Social Media
    Social Norms
    Space
    Streaming
    Stress
    Summer
    Support
    Swiggy
    TARSHI
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Therapy
    Traffic
    Tragedy
    Transparency
    Trauma
    Travel
    Trigger
    Trust
    Truth
    Valentines Day
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Weather
    Weightwatchers
    Whatsapp
    Wish
    Women's Day
    Work
    Work-Life Balance
    WorldMentalHealthDay2017
    Yes
    Zomato

    Archives

    September 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    RSS Feed

Copyright: 2012, InnerSight Counselling & Training Centre LLP.             Phone: +919611405684/ +919980781314  email: [email protected]
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • QACP & Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us