InnerSight
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us

Cognitions: The InnerSight Blog

What's your 'type'?

17/9/2017

Comments

 
The question of ‘type’ comes up every now and then. Mostly on lazy Sunday brunches with friends or late night after-parties. Some people are very clear about their type, and others claim they have no type at all and that they are quite versatile when it comes to their choices of who they might be with.
When there is a lot of time to kill and enough goodwill, the latter usually finds themselves the target of a whole lot of ‘What about X person’ questions, starting with celebrities and public figures, and narrowing slowly to inner circles, waiting for tell-tale blushes, stutters, throat clearings and other giveaways which can then lead to some proper ribbing of the ‘ A and B, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G’ types, till finally some sort of confessional emerges or people just get bored and move on to the next entertainment.
Thing is: Do people really have a certain ‘type’? What is this ‘type’ anyway? It is about looks? Age? Social life? Culture? Fitness? All of these?
What one is attracted to is often so unpredictable till it happen, and when it happens over and over or you find that attraction sticky and it refuses to go away, there you go – you have a type. It would be simple enough if we could just have that ‘A Ha’ moment and go on merrily with our lives, meeting our types and just having a good old time.
It is never that simple, is it. Somehow, social norms develop around what ‘types’ go with what. In sitcom language, the jocks go with the cheerleaders, the nerds stick together, the brainiacs do their thing. There are laws in the jungle, so to say. It is all nice and easy when the types all fall right in line, but that is so often not the case. The exceptions to the norm are so many that one questions if there is even any real ‘normal.’
If you find yourself different from your general peer group in the ‘types’ that you are into, it can lead to some serious heartache. You might hesitate to introduce one to the other, keep things secretive and private as much as possible till inevitably the worlds collide and you have no option but to be out with it, or suffer for eternity.
Negotiating your social circles when you have an unexpectedly different love interest can get tricky. It can be met with curiosity, humour to downright discrimination and hostility. It can really test you – are you really committed to this person and the lifestyle it means? Can you bear with social differences and awkwardness till people get used to it? Can you help those around you understand and accept your particular choice, and treat you and your love with respect?
It does take some effort, and the only thing that makes it easier is the ability to first be quite comfortable with your own type. If you aren’t, well, you got some work to do on yourself.

As written for:

http://www.newindianexpress.com/cities/bengaluru/2017/sep/16/do-sitcoms-have-a-say-in-what-your-type-in-relationships-is-1657966.html
Comments

    RSS Feed

    InnerSight Bloggers

    Ajanta, Mahesh and other InnerSight counsellors and guest contributors are happy to share their thoughts here.
    Some of these articles have been published elsewhere and are reproduced here with permission.
    ​

    Categories

    All
    Accomodation
    Addiction
    Affair
    Affection
    Alpha Male
    Anger
    Anger Management
    Appraisal
    Arm Candy
    Assertiveness
    #b4stage4
    Bangalore
    Belonging
    BetaRevolution
    Beta Revolution
    Body Positive
    Bollywood
    Boundaries
    Child Counselling
    Children
    Chivalry
    Choice
    Cleanup
    Clutter
    Comfort
    Communication
    Community
    Companionship
    Conflict
    Conflict Management
    Connect
    Consent
    Cool
    Corporate Counselling
    COunselling
    Counselling In Popular Culture
    Couple Counselling
    Couple Goals
    Couples
    Covid
    Crisis
    Cross-cultural Issues
    Death
    Deepavali
    Depression
    #DepressonLet'sTalk
    Desire
    Destination
    Discipline
    Diversity
    Diwali
    Dying
    EAP
    Eating Out
    Fact
    Fairytales
    Families Of Origin
    Family
    Family Counselling
    Fight
    Flying
    Food
    Fortune
    Freedom
    Friendship
    Games
    Games Couples Play
    Gardening
    Gender
    Gender Roles
    Genie
    Gifting
    Gossip
    Grief
    Happy New Year
    Hate
    Health
    Heartbreak
    Heat
    Holidays
    Home
    Homework
    Horoscopes
    Illness
    Incel
    Independence
    India
    InPlainSpeak
    Insecurity
    Intimacy
    Ipad
    Journal
    Journey
    Joy
    Kathua
    Kiss
    Lockdown
    Loneliness
    Love
    Love O Logy
    Love-o-logy
    Machismo
    Marie Kondo
    Marr
    Marriage
    Marriages
    Masculinity
    Meaning
    Media
    Mental Health
    #MeToo
    Mindfulness
    Mobile
    Mother's Day
    Motivation
    Netflix
    No
    Obsession
    Oxygen Masks
    Parenting
    Personal Well Being
    Personal Well-being
    PIP
    Playtime
    Politics
    Prediction
    Privacy
    Rape
    Reactions
    Recharge
    Relationship
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Romance
    Sadness
    Saying No
    School
    Security
    Self Care
    Self-compassion
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self-harm
    Self Image
    Self-image
    Self-sabotage
    Self-talk
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Sexuality
    Sickness
    Smart Phones
    Social Media
    Social Norms
    Space
    Streaming
    Stress
    Summer
    Support
    Swiggy
    TARSHI
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Therapy
    Traffic
    Tragedy
    Transparency
    Trauma
    Travel
    Trigger
    Trust
    Truth
    Valentines Day
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Weather
    Weightwatchers
    Whatsapp
    Wish
    Women's Day
    Work
    Work-Life Balance
    WorldMentalHealthDay2017
    Yes
    Zomato

    Archives

    September 2020
    August 2020
    April 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    RSS Feed

Copyright: 2012, InnerSight Counselling & Training Centre LLP.             Phone: +919611405684/ +919980781314  email: counsellors@innersight.in
  • Home
  • Counselling Services
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couple Counselling
    • Child & Adolescent Counselling
    • Family Counselling
    • Counselling for Specific Needs
    • Diversity Counselling
  • EAP/ Corporate Services
    • Training Services
  • InnerSight's Self-Help Pages
    • Counselling FAQs
    • Self-Assessment
  • Contact InnerSight
    • About Us